Stroke of Love

If I could no longer speak would you know what I was saying
If I sat inside my house and stayed quiet,
would you peak into my window
to see that I was ok
At night when it's dark I am filled with fear as you lay there asleep
I watch you and watch you breathe
With every breath you step deeper into your own little world
That is so far away from where I am
You are so far away that I'm afraid
you wouldn't hear me If I screamed
You are not aware of me * I crave your love like a baby craves her mother's milk
Like a baby who sleeps in the blanket of protection
But I threw away my blanket before I realized I would need it for a later time
A cold and dark time like now, like this very night
This is not how I want to meet the sun in the morning
Waiting and anticipating for its rise in the dark
How I want so badly to sleep again with my blanket and to be awakened by the sun
Not chasing it not running from it but just to simply be surprised by it
When did I start thinking that I own my heart that I may control it
Now my heart is a mad rebel full of loneliness and hate, uncertainty and fear all born from
selfish desire * my heart only needs to love and be loved
And I took my power of love and yanked my heart around like a rag doll
Now my heart is tired and it's not her time * A young heart that's done too much
That it's closed the door to any opportunity for love
Young eyes that are closed before the time came to open them
No more surprises* young lips that should've never been kissed but should've only been used
for laughing * young hips that have been stretched beyond recognition
no more play in them
the evidence laying sound asleep in the next room
THIS IS MY FEAR
Let me always be here to protect my babies
To hear every cough every giggle every whisper to meet every cry for help
To pat dry every tear to soothe them to sleep to surprise them with the sun
These are my struggles as I toss and turn in the bed while you carelessly sleep through the night